I’ve written about my experiences in church in Jacksonville before. It was a reflection of what the church was like growing up as an outsider. Sadly, things haven’t changed a whole lot now that I’m an adult and I’m even more resolved to worship privately than beside them.
Referring back to small town politics, I shared my experience on Facebook with no shame. Let an idiot being an idiot, you know? But those church ladies banded together and as any good middle-aged Christian white woman thinks they must do, they spewed their vitriol under the false belief that shaming another somehow made them superior and pious. Your spot on that pew and your perfect Sunday school attendance certainly makes you better than the rest of us!
This was my reply to some of the bitterness I read:
I’m going on about 3 hours of sleep, so I’ll apologize if I’m rambling (finished a case brief on Bailey v. US 1995 instead of 2013 and had to start over, so many wasted hours)! Anyway, I want to apologize for the “drama” I allegedly created here by posting my video. I was shocked at was going on and wanted our community to be aware of the harassment and bullying. I was there; it was bad. I was asked about his videos, so I provided them. It wasn’t done to seek attention, I assure you. However, pride got the best of me when I was insulted multiple times over simply walking up to the scene. When you’ve struggled with something so long, it’s hard being called a whale on such a public platform. I’m fat, I know. It’s still painful when it’s pointed out to me.
What hurts the most, though, is the backlash I have received from several in this group. The worst would be the ones making the snide remarks, yet injecting their hate and superiority with bible verses. It reminds me of back in high school–I was slammed into a locker and sexually and physically harassed. After I reported it, I remember someone I thought was my friend defending the abuser and claiming I made it all up. It’s tough. Jacksonville is a small town and we all have skeletons. Remember that before you show your Facebook friends how great and holy you think you are. I’m sure you don’t want your faults brought to your attention. Besides, this is only Facebook. If you want to judge an entire city or even a person over text, it’s probably time to get out more.
So, again, I apologize. I do not regret sharing what I did. I do, however, regret that it caused so much offense to so many of you. As I’ve said before, there are other groups that are all rainbows and sunshine. Here, we’re allowed to have an opinion and question authority.
I’m still going to hold my head up high and speak to those who have insulted me publicly and privately. As any good southern Christian woman would do, I’ll smile and shake your hand with a ‘bless your heart.’
And now I’m going to fix the family cinnamon rolls. Because us whales sure love them cinnamon rolls.
Happy Saturday, everyone.
Several have reached out to me and shown their support and I’m very appreciative of that. I know many good men and women–some Christian, some not–so I don’t want to lump them in one category. There are good people out there that amaze me every day. Still, though, some still find it necessary to spread their passive aggressiveness. To quote my man Linus Torvalds:
“I’m sitting in my home office wearing a bathrobe. The same way I’m not going to start wearing ties, I’m also not going to buy into the fake politeness, the lying, the office politics and backstabbing, the passive aggressiveness, and the buzzwords.”
So go ahead and share your passive aggressive posts, your “Look at how pious I am; shame on her” posts.
I always enjoy a good laugh at your expense.